More Than Just a Number: Why Our Sexual Health Is Deeply Interconnected 

By Brielle Collins

June 16, 2026

 

Have you ever heard anyone say, “When you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they’ve slept with?” It’s an old phrase used to teach the dangers of sleeping with multiple partners, but what exactly does it mean?  

It’s the idea that when you sleep with someone, you increase your risks of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI), as you are being exposed to the sexual diseases of whomever that person had been exposed to in the past.  

That phrase is not the end-all, be-all, when it comes to sexual health. However, exposure is real. It doesn’t mean we should judge each other based on our history or number of partners, but it does mean that we should be aware that our health is deeply interconnected. For the safety of the collective, it is important to be proactive and learn someone’s status, before engaging in sexual activity. 

Shame and stigma prevent many of us from having honest conversations before having sex, but in the long run, the lack of communication harms our communities. The spread of HIV has historically been fueled by shame and stigma, with harmful narratives in the media making the issue seem more like an individual problem, rather than a structural reality.  

Going back to the idea of “when you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they’ve slept with,” there are systematic factors in play that keep those who are disproportionately affected or at high risk for HIV within the same networks.  

Black people, especially Black women, are significantly more at risk than other groups when it comes to STI exposure. In 2018, African Americans/Blacks represented 43% of all deaths of people diagnosed with HIV, despite being only 13.7% of the population. When a group is at high risk, it is a concern for the entire population, because individuals don’t simply have sex solely among themselves. This shifts the conversation from individual stigma to a collective awareness that the solution must be a societal one. 

The invisible threat is not just your partner’s history, but also the lack of representation in sexual health campaigns, medical misogynoir, and other systemic advantages that silently enforce stigma, especially in Black communities.  

So how do we change this? How can we stop the outcome of this exposure math? First, we must stop the stigma surrounding prevention practices. Normalizing things like PrEP, regular testing, and open communication will help prevent people from being so vulnerable. 

We also have to prioritize inclusive health campaigns, culturally aware healthcare, and expanded access to preventative care as well. Safety shouldn’t be a luxury dependent on your environment, but a right.  

More than a decade ago, Lisa Ling explored why the HIV rate was disproportionately high in the U.S. Black community by looking at the social and economic forces behind it. Unfortunately, more much of what she uncovered about stigma, family dynamics and the healthcare system still exists.  Watch below as she speaks with HIV-positive black men and women fighting against stigma and the disease each day.

 

While exposure math connects us to unseen threats, it also means that our healing and protection are connected as well. It is imperative that we break the tradition of staying silent and create more spaces where open communication is the norm. It is time to stop viewing our sexual health as something that you have to go through alone because one person’s status can impact the whole community. Therefore, it is something we must address. It is our job to uplift others and fight stigma, not just for your health but everyone’s health.